Subway's Jared was on TV today giving a speech to an elementary school. And I listened in for the rest of his story, as I had seen the abbreviated version in the commercials. No inspiring breakthroughs, but I may have learned of a way to succeed in life.

Jared began putting on weight in 3rd grade, when he received a Nintendo for his birthday. He told the kids he played for five or six hours per day. He also enjoyed "junk food" regularly. By 5th grade, he was wearing "husky" clothing. By high school, he was over three hundred pounds. He peaked out his junior year in college at 425.

Then, of course, he began eating Subway sandwiches for lunch and dinner each day. Not the ones that taste good, Jared was wise and chose the turkey and/or veggie subs. Every day. After dropping nearly 100 pounds in about as many days, he added walking to his regimen. In less than a year, he was 245 pounds lighter than when he started. Remarkable, and the rest is history.

This brings us to seeing Jared on TV, telling the kids about nutrition, how if they don't eat right they'll end up like him. This is the point where Jared holds up his old 60-inch waist pants. BTW, they are friggin' huge, like big enough to make you fast for the rest of the week. Anyway, my point is that's how bad it was, but now Jared is living the good life.

Sorry, Jared, but if I'm a kid in that audience, I'm thinking of how I could eat my way to 500 pounds. Then I'd go on the Subway diet, lose over 300 pounds and take your job, man. Warn me if I don't eat right, I'll end up like you? You are the national spokesperson for the largest chain of restaurants in the world. Pass the Twinkies and keep preaching the gospel, brother.

One of the kids asked Jared what he drove. He responded that he drove an Acura MDX. Not exactly 'living in a van down by the river'. But, kids, eat right or you'll end up like me. Eat right and you'll have to get a real job and actually work for a living. Eat right so Jared can eat well. Eat Subway so Jared will never have to again.

It was just over a week ago, I had the opportunity to shoot it with a former Navy SEAL. No, it wasn't the one Demi Moore tried to portray, as the odds of encountering her are not so good - like say as likely as founding one's self in the presence of Demi Moore (note to readers: my real name is not Ashton Kutcher). Chris was this man's name, actually.

To the point, Chris supports the war in Iraq. Why, I asked? Because the problem of terrorism won't go away on its own, he said. Definitely a pro-active guy, one who didn't see American presence in Iraq as provoking terrorism. He believed the terrorists should be hit hard, then hit harder. Repeat steps one and two until there is no terror.

Chris, in his defense, was speaking from first-hand experience. He's been all over the globe, asking questions first and, well, shooting too. But unlike the majority of the enlisted, Chris earned a master's at the University of Virginia while training as a SEAL. He was required to know his enemy through and through, which is why he studied the Koran for three months.

Granted, and he admitted as much, the politics of war were not his concern. Chris did as he was ordered, with the provision to use his own ingenuity to accomplish the mission at hand. This meant inserting a hand gun into the mouth of his enemy, at times, in order to get information important to his mission. Whether that fell outside of the guidelines of the Geneva Convention, which Chris told me he swore to adhere to, I do not know. But I do know 'all is fair in love and war.'

So, my counter to Chris that American and other foreign presence in Iraq only stirred up terrorism, that he and I would respond similarly to Iraqi military here in the U.S., pretty much fell on deaf ears. I liken much of the Middle East to a hornet's nest - stay clear unless you want to get stung. Chris seemed to see it as an opportunity to take out the whole nest, once and for all. A little insensitive to the innocent lives lost? Perhaps, but Chris could only focus on the enemy. He truly did see things in black and white, and most certainly in good and evil.

At least he did as a SEAL. Now, he is content to drink beer and travel the country, living on his pension. Forty-six years old, with no wife or kids, a retirement check, and he's hardly going to hurt anyone any more. That would require putting his beer down. Seriously, the guy clearly could separate himself from his past, and perhaps for the first time question authority, though he expressed no qualms with the current government. He accepts the lies as a smokescreen. What matters to him is the reality of fighting the enemy, of good conquering bad.

Only a recent incident in which several SEAL's died in a helicopter crash made Chris even consider returning to duty. He knew when he had enough. He did not say exactly when that was, but it was near the end of the Clinton presidency. (BTW, Chris claims it was Hillary who coerced Bill to use force in Kosovo) He showed me a scar on his knee from a bullet he took in Grenada. Perhaps another scar I did not see made him walk away - while he still could walk away. Perhaps it was the countless scars he had inflicted on others, the look in that last man's eyes as he laid him to rest.

Chris told me he had dozens of confirmed kills, the exact number I do not recall, but it was in the triple digits. He scoffed at the Purple Heart, saying something to the effect of how it was a badge to show you screwed up. I asked how he was able to separate himself from his own conscience in order to take orders and heed them with little or no regard for life, least of which his own. His response was simply that he could. Then I realized that was exactly why he was what he was - because he, unlike the other 95+ percent who quit SEAL training, could function relatively normal in spite of all the abnormal he had encountered and experienced.

There were tests constantly being administered by the Navy to try to determine the psychology of those who would make the cut as a SEAL, Chris told me. He said they never could predict who would last based on these tests. Ultimately, only the hell they were put through could determine who would be a SEAL. Chris must have been what no test could successfully predict, for he made it through. He went on to serve all over the world. Apart from his story and visible scars, he was just another guy at the bar with an opinion.

Hardly a materialistic guy, somehow I have come to appreciate the importance of a nice car and a well-furnished home. And I have a couple of television shows to thank for opening my (straight) eyes. You already guessed one - Queer Eye for the Straight Guy. The other is Pimp My Ride.

The stars of these shows do more than fix up cars and update wardrobes. They actually raise the self-esteem of those they are helping. While any of us could shop for ourselves and very much improve the quality and condition of our homes and cars, we seldom transform our own self-image. Even if/when we might, it is hardly to the extent regularly acheived on Queer Eye or Pimp My Ride.

People react to their "makeovers" as if they had won the lottery or given birth. They jump up and down, they cry, they hug strangers. Often, these well-deserving people (it seems the producers do a heck of a job to screen for those who need help and warrant it) have difficulty being gracious in receipt of attention and gifts they would seem to have seldom known the likes of in their lives previously. This really touches me - when I see those who have never had much, being granted plenty, and the overwhelm makes them uncomfortable.

Recently on Queer Eye, a large family comprised of mostly foster children was featured. A remarkable group, of several different ethnic backgrounds, all led by a man who had no father to speak of growing up. While he was a likely candidate for help, he was a man who awkwardly accepted it. And he said as much when he told the camera he "just wasn't used to being given anything". He went on to say that it was always about the children, and he didn't know how to have it otherwise. What a guy.

And what special guys who share their talents for the betterment of others. Maybe the fame and fortune counter-balances any and all selflessness and righteousness. Still, I respect these guys for what they do, for putting their talents on display to the subjectivity of a cable TV audience. My hat is off to them and those they help.